Lucy Looking Upward

One of the things I love about astrology (among so many) is how unlike most disciplines, a reductive approach simply does not work. I’ve found that I love reading astrology blogs and articles and case studies far more than standard “cookbooks,” and I’m sure I’m not the only one. My reasoning is that definitions alone do not a thorough and holistic reading make. It’s not enough to say to someone, “Oh, you’ve got the Sun in Leo. You must be really creative.” Or “You have transiting Uranus in your 10th House. That means you’re going to have a career change.” That makes about as much sense to me as saying, “You have the Moon in Cancer. You must really like pudding.” (Although, that actually does kind of make sense to me.) As Shirley Soffer, my teacher/mentor/honorary grandma, always tells us in class, you have to start with the person, and read the chart in context of their experience. If someone who’s having a 10th-House Uranus transit loves their career, and you tell them, “Oh, THIS MEANS [always] you WILL have a career change,” and they say, “Uh, no I fucking won’t,” you are stuck. Because you have taken a totally reductive approach to astrology, and not considered any and every possible explanation for expressions of planetary activity.

I mention this because transiting Pluto just stationed direct at 0+ Capricorn, in my natal 7th House, and a very reductive and not very imaginative astrologer/novice/poseur might see that and say, “Oh, transiting Pluto in the 7th House. That means your relationship is going to be transformed.” Right. Except that 1) I don’t have a relationship to be transformed, and 2) I really haven’t written about relationships at all very much in the past few months. Nonetheless, Pluto’s retrograde period and direct station in my 7th House have profoundly affected me.

A large part of the reason I haven’t broached the subject of relationships in a while is because frankly, I’ve been too busy with other stuff going on. That’s not to say I haven’t thought about them, or wanted one. But at some point over the summer, I made a choice that I was not going to actively pursue a relationship anymore, at least not in the immediately near future. Getting ejected from my job, making an impulsive but really empowered decision to go back to school, moving back home, and getting school underway (and not to mention doing the occasional chart reading) have taken up quite a bit of my time, and I feel like I would rather focus my attention on that, what I AM doing, versus something I don’t have.

And right now, things are good. I think I’m doing the best job I can as far as modulating my personal boundaries at home with my family. I’ve become almost single-mindedly focused on school. I study my eyes out- in the library, on the subway, in coffee shops. I’m eating meals- real meals, not my usual non-linear pattern of two eggs for breakfast, some sushi twelve hours later, and then an apple fourteen to eighteen hours after that. It’s dramatically different from the life I’ve led for the past few years- which I know sounds nuts for people who are more often than not accustomed to sleeping in their own bed, in the state in which they actually reside, for more than four or five hours at a time.

But within that good feeling, it’s becoming very apparent how Pluto in my 7th House, and especially going direct now, has been affecting me, more so than I was even aware. I remember a few months ago when I was moaning about The Philosopher, a guy named Shawn* left a comment that basically said that if I wanted to connect with the side of me that is my Inner Philosopher (that is, a little colder, a little more objective, a little more academic and a little less emotional), there had to be a better way to do so within myself than designating another person as a means of fulfilling that unlived part of me. And I realize now that Shawn was absolutely right. I feel very fulfilled knowing that I am in school again, working towards a PhD or a PsyD, taking courses like biopsychology and statistics, and I’m still studying astrology and reading myths and consulting The Witches’ Almanac, and listening to noise bands and watching horror movies, and it’s all enough. Even when I think I’d like to have a relationship, it’s certainly not because I need another person to fill in my perceived gaps. I can totally do it myself. That’s fucking huge.

Additionally fucking huge is the manifestation of Pluto in the 7th House as power dynamics relating to The Other. I mentioned once before that Shirley suggested using transiting Pluto in the 7th as an opportunity to reclaim my power in relationships, and not to let myself feel controlled. As much as I love the new routine of being in school, there are still plenty of things about it that are really pissing me off. For one thing, I’m appalled at the sheer immaturity, stupidity, and just plain disrespect that some of my standard-undergrad-age classmates display. I could literally write a book on every jaw-droppingly worrisome thing I witnessed or heard today alone. I feel like I’m studying college-level material, but I’m sitting in high school classes- high school classes for kids with parts of their brains missing. For another thing, I did not start out really strong in my biopsychology class. At first, I was really reactive to both these situations, and I fell into a couple of old traps. Particularly in the biopsychology situation, I felt like since I haven’t historically done well in math and science, I couldn’t possibly- and that kind of thinking really makes me doubt my overall intelligence, even though I have no need to. In a way, it’s a lot like the fight or flight concept; these issues make me either so furious I’m foaming at the mouth, or they make me totally insecure and afraid, and I have to decide in a split second if I’m going to verbally castrate someone or go someplace quiet where I can listen to The Smiths.

But I realized this week, and particularly today, that it doesn’t have to be that way. Once I reached a particular boiling point, I decided that my caring so much about what these other people think and letting them influence my success is unproductive and unnecessary. So instead of being reactive, I’m going to be proactive. I’ve already purchased a supplement to my biopsychology textbook that has additional study aids and practice tests, and I feel like my grasp of the material has just soared. Yes, even though it is science, something in which I’m typically weak. And my God- finally understanding something feels so fucking good. Feeling competent enough to understand molecular basis of action potential and genetics and neuroanatomy is totally novel for me. But I like it.

And I realized that this proactivity will help me in dealing with other people around me who perpetually annoy me. Now that I feel competent enough to understand the material, I can decide, “You know what? I could care less about any of them. I am here for myself, and for my education, and for my personal goals.” I’m not going to let the bastards get me down. That too is fucking huge for me. And that is truly how I think transiting Pluto has been playing out- which has nothing to do with “traditional” 7th House relationships, but will certainly make it easier to harness the considerable amount of power that’s just radiating there.

So while there isn’t a literal 7th House relationship for Pluto to break down, that certainly doesn’t mean the energy is going to waste, as a more literal astrologer would have a client believe. And by not being too literal about my interpretation, in my own way, in my specific context, I’ve managed to channel that energy into a pretty significant relationship, one that I’ve probably neglected more than I realized and for a little too long: the one with myself.

Change is good.

*Shawn, if you’re reading this, where the fuck did you GO? You were so incredibly insightful. Please let me know you’re alive.