Posts Tagged ‘horror films’

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Internalizing the “bad mother”: Lilith stars in A Tale of Two Sisters

October 25, 2009

So a couple of weeks ago, we firmly established that Lucy loves horror movies. And it’s almost Halloween, so I think I want to build on this theme- specifically by exploring Lilith, which I’m seriously loving on right now (thank you, full 5th House by transit with natal asteroid Lilith in it). I’ve been using several different references to understand the exact differences between asteroid Lilith and Black Moon Lilith, chiefly Marina’s excellent 8th House/Lilith-centric blog, and I also found a great resource in Aquamoonlight Astrology. There I learned that even though asteroid Lilith and Black Moon Lilith are different bodies, they have roughly the same connotation- Lilith energy symbolizes a “dark side we prefer not to acknowledge… a subtle refusal to see what part we may have played in some unpleasant drama of our lives.” And when I read that, I thought, “ZOMG, that’s EXACTLY what that movie A Tale of Two Sisters is about!” So I forced myself to watch it again (with the light on this time, well before bedtime), and now, in the spirit of upcoming Halloween, I present you with another astro-film-critique.

A Tale of Two Sisters by Ji-woon Kim was one of the first Asian horror films that started that whole trend of “let’s do mediocre American remakes of incredible Asian horror, that all have to feature a female specter with long matted hair.” It’s based on a classic Korean folktale called “Rose Flower and Red Lotus” about two sisters who exact revenge on their evil stepmother from beyond the grave. Looking at the poster, you might imagine (as I initially did) a gratuitous splatterfest. Surprisingly, there’s about *thismuch* actual violence in it; the focus is really on the very Lilith-esque theme of how frightening one’s own psyche can actually be. I’ll do a synopsis of the film, which may seem long, but it’s pretty necessary to understand how Lilith features so prominently in this story. (My critique contains spoilers. But don’t let that stop you from watching the actual movie, because it’s a-MA-zing. And unlike a lot of films, it actually improves with multiple viewings.)

Sisters Su-mi and Su-yeon return home with their father after being in the hospital following the death of their mother. Su-mi, presumably the elder sister, is the more outgoing and aggressive one; younger Su-yeon is timid and barely speaks at all. The sisters are greeted by their cold and abusive stepmother; Su-yeon appears to be afraid of her. That night, Su-yeon wakes up and sees someone (or something) coming into her room. She goes to Su-mi’s room, where her sister comforts her and agrees that the house is strange; Su-mi promises that she will always be there for her sister, and they fall asleep in each other’s arms. Early the next morning, Su-mi awakens from a nightmare of running in the woods and a bloody hand grabbing her. She is realizing it was just a dream when she suddenly catches sight of something crawling at the foot of her bed, and is horrified to see the shape of a ghostly-looking woman rise up into the air, with her head limp as if her neck is broken, until she is right over Su-mi, at which point blood pours down her legs and a hand reaches out from under her dress. Su-mi wakes up for real this time, only to find that she and Su-yeon have begun their periods- and oddly, so has their stepmother. Later that day, Su-mi and Su-yeon look at pictures of their deceased mother, and see that their stepmother appears in later pictures, in a nurse’s uniform; it is at this point that Su-mi notices bruises on Su-yeon’s arms, and immediately accuses the stepmother. The father finds Su-mi upset and tries to talk to her, but she is indignant and tells him that “from now on… [you are] responsible for it all.” That night, the girls’ uncle and his wife come for dinner, which is cut short when the uncle’s wife has a violent seizure. On their way home, she tells her husband that she saw a girl under the kitchen sink. At the house, the stepmother hears a sound in the kitchen and goes to investigate; in her peripheral vision she sees a girl in a green dress sitting at the dining room table, and when she looks down again, a bloody hand shoots out from under the sink and grabs her. Frantic, she tries to tell the girls’ father that strange things have been happening in the house since the girls came home, but the father tells her not to say stupid things and gives her pills to calm down.

Late that night, the stepmother finds her pet bird dead in Su-yeon’s bed, which is just as much of a shock to Su-yeon; furious, the stepmother locks Su-yeon in her wardrobe and ignores her screams. Su-mi hears her sister’s cries and lets her out, apologizing that she could not protect her. Su-mi, hysterical, tells her father that the stepmother keeps hurting Su-yeon; her father tells her to stop, because Su-yeon is dead. Su-yeon’s image begins to shake, and she screams. The father is seen on the phone with someone, telling them to come tomorrow because he “can’t do it alone and she’s getting worse.” The next morning, Su-mi thinks she sees her stepmother dragging a bloody bag through the house and beating it with a poker. As Su-mi attempts to free her sister, a violent struggle ensues between her and her stepmother, and she is rendered unconscious.

Su-mi confronts her stepmother

Su-mi confronts her stepmother

When Su-mi regains consciousness, her stepmother is sitting over her. The stepmother asks her, “Don’t you get it yet?… Remember when I said, ‘You’ll regret it someday’?… You want to forget something… but you never can… and it follows you around like a ghost.” As the stepmother is about to kill Su-mi, the father suddenly comes in- but all he sees are a groggy Su-mi and a bloody bag with a doll in it. He goes to get her some pills, and when he returns, the stepmother is sitting on the couch instead of Su-mi. She asks where Su-mi is, and the father tells her to stop this, because he is sick of it. The doorbell rings, and the father goes to answer it. The stepmother looks up and gasps in horror as someone comes into the room: it is herself, looking sympathetic and concerned. The camera rotates back to show Su-mi sitting on the couch.

Su-mi has a multiple personality disorder, and she has been acting as herself, her stepmother, and her sister. She remembers that she was the one beating the doll in the bag, she killed the pet bird, and she exited the car alone when she returned home from the hospital at the beginning of the film. The father and stepmother return Su-mi to the hospital, where Su-mi begins to remember what she was trying to forget. When her and Su-yeon’s real mother was alive, she was very ill (and she looked quite a lot like the ghostly woman from Su-mi’s nightmare), and the stepmother was her nurse. The sisters noticed that their father and future stepmother seemed to be flirting, and the stepmother was very mean to Su-yeon. At the house, the stepmother, apparently remembering as well, hears a noise upstairs. She goes to Su-yeon’s room, where she turns on the light just in time to see something darting out the window. When she opens the shades to see, the door slams shut and she is trapped in the room. The wardrobe doors open, and a ghostly woman slides out, and a scream is heard from inside the house. Back at the hospital, Su-mi’s flashback continues. Su-yeon woke up in her room one day to find that their mother, probably depressed over her worsening condition and the apparent attraction between her husband and her nurse, had hanged herself in Su-yeon’s wardrobe. As Su-yeon struggled to pull her mother’s body out, she accidentally pulled the wardrobe down, crushing herself underneath it. The stepmother heard the wardrobe fall, went into the room, and saw Su-yeon struggling, but ran out. As she changed her mind and was about to go in and help Su-yeon, Su-mi came out of her room, unaware that there had just been an accident, and told the stepmother to stay out of their lives. The stepmother told her (which Su-mi recalled during their final fight), “You might regret this moment. Keep that in mind.” During this interchange, Su-yeon weakly whispered, “Help me, Su-mi,” before she died. Su-mi, still angry at her stepmother, went out of the house, presumably not finding out about her sister’s death until later that day.

The Lilith symbols in this story are strikingly clear, and not just because it’s a story about girls and mothers. Lilith energy is present in both genders, as sort of a foil to the archetype of the mother represented by the Moon. Where the Moon shows the deepest place we can be hurt, Lilith shows the ways in which we can actually hurt others, a dark part of us that not everyone likes to admit they have. Even when we have not actually done anything to anyone, our guilt can escalate to make us feel totally responsible- and in the subconscious mind, it doesn’t matter what the truth is; it hurts all the same. Children who blame themselves when their parents are divorcing, people who narrowly escape fatal accidents and think, “If only it had been me getting into that car…”, not to mention people who actually have done wrong by others and only come around to realize it later- all territory of Lilith. In A Tale of Two Sisters, Su-mi’s guilt has extreme consequences. Because she subconsciously believes that she is responsible for her sister’s death (by unknowingly delaying help), Su-mi internalizes the most horrible parts of her stepmother, who was truly responsible for letting Su-yeon die. She also internalizes the weakest and most timid parts of her sister, whom she failed to protect as she had promised. As the stepmother, the Lilith aspect, Su-mi is free to act out all the rage she feels over the deaths of her mother and sister (in the form of brutalizing her “sister” in the wardrobe, beating the doll, killing the bird), and further, her anger at herself for her perceived part in the tragedy (when the stepmother aspect tells her, “I’m the only one you can call Mother now, whether you like it or not”; on some level, that is all Su-mi feels she deserves). When she acts as the stepmother, she can punish herself for the fact that she has no “right” to feel the pain she does. However, as her sister, the victimized Moon aspect, Su-mi can indulge in a vulnerability she could never consciously allow herself. When she acts as her sister, she reminds herself that she is still hurting, that she needs to be cared for, and it’s easier to transfer that nurturing onto what she imagines to be her sister rather than give it to herself. Reminders of her real mother, intangibly in her nightmares and tangibly in her sudden onset of menstruation, are her subconscious attempt to fuse the two extremes of Stepmother and Sister, of Lilith and the Moon, to come to terms with them, release the trauma, and grow up as normally as she can manage. But it’s not easy. Her realization that Su-yeon is a construct of her subconscious literally shakes her, and her attempt to deconstruct her internalization of her stepmother is similarly a literal fight. Furthermore, the fact that all of these manifestations are subconscious allow Su-mi to maintain a bearable boundary between herself and her father, at whom she is still furious for his apparent obtuseness and inability to take any blame or feel any grief at what has happened.

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but to me, A Tale of Two Sisters is a valuable lesson about trauma, about what Lilith has to offer but what most of us are too afraid to accept. There is a staggeringly large continuum of emotions that occur with trauma, and it’s difficult to stomach the more painful, violent and angry sides of that continuum because for the most part we suppress them. We don’t want to stomach them. We don’t even want to look at them. But they will show up eventually. Shirley Soffer is always saying that “you can either be a victim or a survivor”; she jokes that she once said this to her son and he replied, “I don’t want to be either, I want to be a perpetrator.” There is truth in that statement. Although victim and survivor are more popular “phenotypes” of trauma, a good amount of perpetrating takes place as well- towards ourselves, when we say, “I should be over this by now,” or “I can’t believe I’m still upset about this when much worse things have happened to other people,” or “I deserved for this to happen.” The sooner we can acknowledge the equal validity of our sadness, our vulnerability, and our anger, the sooner we integrate them- and the sooner the memory of the trauma becomes bearable, and in fact strengthens us.

While you’re thinking about that, I am now going to watch some MST3K. (I re-viewed A Tale of Two Sisters, and I just spent four hours reading and writing about it. I think I’ve fulfilled my Lilith quotient for the day. After all, I do have to sleep at some point.)

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Let’s Scare Lucy to Death: a sudden insight into my dark Plutonian 5th and 6th Houses

October 6, 2009

It’s been a little while since I blogged, and I didn’t want to lose my touch, so I thought I’d come back. The time has mostly been spent studying for exams (and acing exams- A+ on the first big biopsych test!) and weathering out some more stressful home and health situations that again played out beautifully in an astrological sense but not so much in the true sense (Saturn-Uranus opposition, I’m looking at you). I’ve found that for the most part if I just do what Stephanie Gailing tells me to do, I should be okay. And I’m realizing now more than ever that I kind of really need her advice. (I shall explain.)

I feel like there are certain elements of my natal chart that I understand forwards and backwards, but there have always been a couple of things that elude me a little- namely my 5th and 6th Houses. The 5th and 6th Houses, naturally ruled by Leo and Virgo, in certain respects seem to be polar opposites. Leo is self-serving; Virgo is all about service to others. The 5th House is play; the 6th House is work. The Leo 5th House is sex, and the Virgo 6th House is condoms and dental dams and baby wipes. The natural Leo 5th House and natural Virgo 6th House, mind you. But of course, mine can’t be simple that way. My natal 5th House begins in Virgo and contains asteroid Lilith in Libra (which is intercepted) and Pluto in Scorpio. My natal 6 House begins in Scorpio and contains Mars and Saturn in Scorpio, as well as Uranus in Sagittarius.

I’ve been pretty stumped about the 5th House, because all most cookbooks have told me is that I’ll probably never be able to have children. (So if anyone else wants to shed light, knock yourself out. It’s too dark in there.) I was given some vague insight into my 6th House around age eighteen, when my boyfriend-at-the-time joined a cult group of shamans and Jim Jones the leader of the group said that having Mars, Saturn and Pluto, the most highly concentrated masculine planetary energies, in Scorpio implied that in a past life I had been some kind of all-powerful warlock who was forced to hide my craft for fear of being persecuted. He said that was why, in this life, I seemed to be resentful of the cult’s group’s practice and how much closer to enlightenment they were than I would allow myself to be. (Actually, I was concerned that my boyfriend-at-the-time would suddenly break out in a roaring “OOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM” when we were in public, was now unable to do anything without calculating the mystical numbers of everything he touched and constantly carried around this giant glass walking stick because it had “exactly 72 spirals,” and had started to demand that I visualize a blue triangle with an eye in the center while we had sex. No, I’m totally not exaggerating.) Then he offered me some Kool-Aid. Good times.

Somehow, I have this hunch that being a formerly all-powerful warlock is not all there is to it, as much as I love The Craft. But it wasn’t until over this weekend that I finally figured out what it could actually mean in a way that’s relevant. Two nights ago I watched this Korean horror film called A Tale of Two Sisters. This has become something I frequently do, as I’m sure regular readers have gathered by now- I will watch one or more horror films just before I intend to retire for the night, and regardless of how scary they are in reality, due to my overactive imagination they become ten thousand times scarier as I continue thinking about them. Obviously, I’m most often alone at that hour of the night, but even if I wasn’t, I wouldn’t trust another person to make me feel less afraid- the last time I slept in a bed with someone else right after watching a horror movie, she spent a good part of the night waiting until I was almost asleep only to make that “CH-CH-CH-AHH-AHH-AHH” sound from Friday the 13th. So alone, I’ll spend the next several hours (or hell, the rest of the night if it was scary enough) watching episodes of The Muppet Show or The Office and not actually feel ready to go to bed until the sun has risen. Which is what happened two nights ago- A Tale of Two Sisters is more than scary enough, and in fact, I waited until about eight a.m. to actually fall asleep because one of the most frightening scenes in the entire film takes place at exactly dawn. Needless to say, I felt pretty rough when I finally staggered out of bed around 12:45 p.m. (One reason among many that I was so grateful to be working freelance.)

When people hear that this is a regular occurrence- nay, practically a ritual, they’re always like, “Why do you do this to yourself? If you’re so scared of these movies, why do you watch them? It’s not good to stay up all night!” (STOP THE PRESSES!) Well, it occurred to me yesterday morning (afternoon, whatever) that there are several reasons why I do this to myself, chiefly:

1) I have Mars and Saturn conjunct in Scorpio in my 6th House. Mars and Saturn are the two dichotomies of pushing yourself, and when they’re together, what you end up with is this jerky kind of stop-start energy that gradually gathers momentum but will eventually run you down. And while I mostly tend to think that Scorpio gets a bad rap, seeing how it plays out in my 6th House, as far as my health and my daily routines are concerned, I can totally grok the sadomasochistic, obsessive, destructive side of it. Even as I’m becoming healthier in certain areas, such as body image, my relationship with food, thinking less about aesthetics and more about my actual health, there is definitely a pervasive Scorpionic aspect of wanting to see just how far I can push myself until I literally burn out. Working in television, what with the occupational hazards of constant traveling and 14-20-hour days and minimum of five Diet Cokes a day and (secondhand) chain-smoking and practically medicinal drinking that occurred after hours, was a fortunate outlet for that impulse. Now that I’m not doing that anymore, I have no excuse- but maybe I miss it. Stranger things have happened.

2) I watch horror movies even though they terrify me because I have Pluto and Lilith in my 5th House. On some level, I must really love being scared. My former roommate (a double-Capricorn and equally avid horror-and-exploitation buff) and I once had a conversation about how even as the current quality of films is declining on the whole, the horror genre has not exactly suffered as much, because in a sense it’s the purest genre, and the most truthful. It’s the easiest with which to identify. Not everyone finds love eventually, not everyone thinks that all the same things are funny, not everyone has the intelligence to understand that a movie based on an actual event is not necessarily historical truth- but everyone- everyone- gets scared. And even if you’re not literally scared of what is actually being portrayed in any given horror film, it still probably has some latent content that’s relevant to everyone subconsciously. That’s where my former roommate and I differed; in typical Capricorn fashion, he insisted that I read too closely into things. But I’m not looking for these things, per se- that’s what I experience when I watch these films. I’ve been interested in horror films academically since college, but I notice that my interest has especially peaked since my attack last year; perhaps it’s a further attempt to make sense of feeling abjectly terrified, and to find an outlet for the frustration I feel at expectations of certain behavior I’m supposed to have in order to somehow not be victimized. In a similar fashion, taking into account that the 5th House deals with “children of the body and children of the mind” and my own little addendum, “inner children frozen in time in the damaged psyche,” it could also be a less literal (and ultimately less anxiety-inducing) way of driving home the reality that I am actually an adult now, and if I don’t start to make more responsible decisions, adulthood will be full of fear. I was never allowed to watch these kinds of films as a child. My (Taurus) parents understood that I was super-sensitive, but they kind of took it to an extreme and in a lot of ways treated me like I was in a glass box. And even though I’ve been independent and I’m very accomplished, there are a lot of times when I still do feel like I’m in a glass box, and I’m looking at other adults from inside and wondering about being grown-up, as if I were still a child. Somehow if I can scare myself shitless, I’ll be able to catch up realizing something about adulthood that maybe I should have been better prepared for a long time ago.

When I’d finally shaken myself conscious, I went to a yoga class that afternoon. I’ve started yoga again and it’s making a gigantic difference in my stress levels, even when things are still pretty stress-y. The theme of the class was about balance, and somewhere in my practice it occurred to me that my 5th-6th House confusion also requires balance. With Pluto dignified in the 5th and Scorpio ruling the 6th, I can understand now why I would be conflating super-serious psychological work I have to do in the form of a really stupid-seeming pastime with physically pummeling myself in the form of too little sleep and an erratic diet. I think- no, I KNOW that despite Scorpio, it is possible to face deep darkness without totally destroying oneself, and that being kind to my body will not decrease my capacity for catharsis or my appreciation of Dario Argento. Not to mention that in several weeks, transiting Ceres is going to enter Scorpio and then my 6th House- at which point I will probably have no choice but to start pruning away more of the destructive behaviors so I can actually feel ready to take better care of myself.

With that in mind, I am going to actually go to bed now. I have a feeling I’m going to be mining through this one for quite some time. But somehow, it seems less scary now than, for instance, A Tale of Two Sisters.